Perna, Sunrise, thanks for the posts - it is good feedback to know when I am not speaking clearly about something.

That's what i mean, I know not to expect from her. She does want me to email because I don't say everything (sometimes I don't have access to the information), but I know to to expect to hear from her. I have only called twice - I know her phone is only a message phone and that I probably won't be hearing back.

Reading Pink's posts makes me miss my former t's communication style. But it is also good for me to know that not all t's are like her's or my old one.

I really don't have a support network any more. I had one in the certain school i was in.. But we all went seperate directions with our lives and I don't feel i can utilize that any more. My current friends are situational (work) and i don't feel like risking everything with them. One gal knows i have "issues" as she calls them because she is more perceptive than the others and watches me closely (makes me a little nervous sometimes). I don't want to appear needy, clingy, or like someone who needs constant attention. I don't want friends to worry about me. The one friend who really knows me lives 1400 miles away and our friendship has had 17 years to build.

This job is almost over, so i will tread lightly and see if my situational friendship strengthens or peters out.

Perna, i'm editing to add that my 2nd T told me to call when times were bad because "I went through it alone the first time, I don't need to go it alone the second." Perhaps it is an illusion. When i really needed her, sometimes of course she wasn't there. She'd say to call every half hour until i got her. ... but Sometimes she still wasn't there. ANd sometimes I'd feel so stupid for calling (when she'd answer) i swore I'd not call again.
kiya