I can't lie, this issue still seems to be boggling me down a bit. I couldn't sleep last night because I was so depressed that I was constantly trying to keep my mind busy no matter what. I stayed up later than what I wanted playing my game, most likely as a way to escape. When I finally worked myself up to shut down and get in bed, I was reading random articles on my smartphone and looking at random cat pictures. When I was finally too tired to hold my phone, I was flat out crying like a little baby until my body shut down entirely.

Afterwards, I slept through my alarm and was almost late to class. I had to take Lyft because I missed the bus due to sleeping in. After finishing my English class and getting nothing done, I found it nearly impossible to focus all day and I was so overwhelmingly tired from not sleeping or eating right that I had to ditch my math class to go home to sleep. I got home and slept for only two hours and I am running late on an essay that is due before 11 PM that I'm going to have to submit a day late.

All of this because I lost the one person that I had left in my life that I could talk to about anything without fearing judgement and the one person who has been there for me. I'm trying to keep my head above water and focus on the good things in my life but it is so freaking hard for me. It doesn't help the fact that I don't see my therapist until next Thurs because of no school on Independence Day and what not.

This has been harder for me to deal with that I would have expected.