I try not to hate anything my mind produces, it is part of me and whether it has a problem or is being a problem I want to be there for it as it's the only mind I've got!

Coping with obsessional thoughts is one, good way to help one's self with the problem. I am reminded though of what professional jingle writers suggest when a tune gets stuck in their head? One either has to "finish" the tune, start to end, get closure on it or has to "replace" it with something else. Focusing on coping rather than content is a replacement response I think. I like to give my answer to questions, "finish" them out. If I were GeeN asking myself what Myron meant, I'd figure out what I, GeeN, felt/wanted Myron to mean and be done with that particular "problem".

I think GeeN is fixated on "adultery" though. I've read some of her/your (GeeN :-) other posts and she does not have this problem in her actual life, has no fears of infidelity in herself or significant other so "adultery" is an off-the-wall topic for her to be thinking about constantly. That being the case, I think it is a screen for some other unconscious problem GeeN doesn't want to face. It is like my telling you to NOT think of pink elephants; what do you immediately see in your mind's eye? Pink elephants :-) Very effective, being fixated on pink elephants instead of worrying about whether your husband is going to leave you or (in my case) what is going to happen when your husband dies and you are "alone", etc.

I don't want to think of how my life is going to be when my husband, who is 7 years older than I am and likely to, dies before I do. But I started being kept up at night worrying about it so I looked at what I could do to "prepare" for that probably happening and have started looking at our complicated finances, we've gone to a lawyer twice working on making our wills and I don't stay awake worrying anymore.