i agree with Pink.. my T says that whatever i feel is not *wrong* in any way, it just is. Feeling love or attachment or whatever just is what it is. He says that feelings need to be explored and sometimes there will be a goal of diminishing the effect of some feelings on my life.

i am not in love romantically with this T... but i was with my last T and it was very painful. But it was a missed opportunity as well. Due to the structure of the sessions, capped number etc.. we never explored those feelings. It was not rocket science at the time to figure out how i came to feel that way and i could see the logic in them being based on something else and not on the T himself... afterall, i knew nothing about him as a person outside of session.

i happen to believe that boundaries are variable from T to T and client to client. i also firmly believe in some disclosure on the part of a T, for some clients i think this is a strong positive benefit. For others it might be an issue.. the T needs to make those assessments.

i believe that love is a many shaded thing. i want to learn how to love and be loved, care and be cared for. What better place to do that? i seriously envy those who have a firm confirmation of love or caring from their T. i do not have the same feeling about people who have T's who hug them, even though i think it's an ok thing to do for some clients.

oh so variable...

why not post about your own experiences? why not just make a thread that talks about the negative impact that you felt? It would exist as a different kind of experience for everyone to read and people can see and choose which sort of experience best mirrors their own. i think that would be very supportive, get your opinion across and wouldn't be judgemental of what others choose. And in threads in which you don't share the same opinions you can still say "i have a different point of view" without saying "you're wrong" or something else judgemental.

you can also put posters on ignore and just not feel triggered by their ideas and feelings.

i am sorry you had such a bad experience... a bad experience with strong transference is so painful.