Maybe it is a bit of testing - maybe we do it unconsciously. I don't know what to make of this , but your own response to your own client is how I feel a T should be and what I would hope for. I feel like lashing out sometimes and I've been in a " I hate the world " mood lately so I can understand the feelings. I talked to my T this week about Janina Fisher. Trauma is so tricky to deal with. Do you have another session booked ? I hope you can sort this out.