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all she does is say this and that about her friends.........
BUT when she is doing all these fun things and other activities with friends and she's not doing nothing with me it's like a slap in the face
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Sounds a lot like JEALOUSY to me. Isn't that one of the issues that caused your marriage problems in the first place before this whole mess started? Let's see, so it's ok, according to what you "TELL HER", for her to have friends, but your "ACTUAL ACTIONS" in response to a normal sharing with a spouse about the things she does with her friends ARE TELLING HER its NOT OK because "you aren't doing those things with me". It's NORMAL for people to do things with their friends that they don't do with their husband & right now she isn't doing things with you because she left because of your jealousy & anger issues Sounds like you STILL have some jealousy issues that need worked on. Just curious, did you talk to your wife about your job & what you do with your friends when she's not with you? I know some military jobs are highly classified & can't be talked about but if that isn't your situation, have you done that with your wife while she sat home being your wife & mother?
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I don't really know her anymore.
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have you taken the time to get to know her now? She has a life that exists outside of just you & the kids....when she shares so you CAN GET TO KNOW HER, you dont want to hear because it bothers you that she has a life that doesnt do everything with you. How can you get to know her now if she can't talk about what she does & thinks without you becoming jealous?
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I ended up going to her house last night but it seems like it will never be the same again.
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that is exactly the point she has been trying to make to you....she doesn't want it to EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN. She doesnt want the marriage to go back to what it was & she doesn't want to go back to living the way she did before. IF your marriage is ever going to work you BOTH need to fix & CHANGE the things that are causing the marriage to be broken which BY DEFINITION OF CHANGE means it will "never be the same again".
You seem to be good at saying one thing but when it comes right down to your actions they contradict what you say & actually still show signs of the issues that caused your wife issues with the marriage in the first place. You BOTH need some serious work on changes that need to happen for a marriage to be successful.