If anything I have learned on this site rings true, it is the compassion everyone here has for each other. I care about you as many others do. Believing is seeing, how many people have already posted here, expressing their concern and support for you during these trying times that you face. If you must be numb for a little while, then do so. If crying helps, do so. If yelling to the four winds helps relieve the pain and sadness, by all means do so. And then when you feel the strength returning, return here with us, who care about you, and are holding your hand.