You all are so nice. I appreciate it so much. And I wish I could cry. I don't cry. I never cry. But I need to. And Kebs, thanks for offering to do it for me.

I feel so desperate. I keep taking showers to feel the warmth. I'm hungry but I can't bring myself to eat anything (don't worry, I'll force myself to at some point).

And I don't feel like I'm thinking clearly. I'm reacting. There's no objectivity. No clarity.

I want the world to be better than it is. I want people to be happy and to treat each other well. I want life to be a bright star and not a black hole. I want there to be beauty without the subtle undercurrent of tragedy that bleeds through the cracks and permeates everything.

I want peace.

Maybe tomorrow.

Cyran0