((((((((Turquoise)))))
Sounds like your under way to much pressure. The best way you can step back from all the problems and be able to deal with them is to get some counselling. I have gone many times when I could not handle things alone. And there is nothing to be embarrassed about, in fact it is better not to even think of it that way. Going to get help or asking for help is a strength. It is something to be proud of. For so many people never go, thus never help themselves; out of fear of what others may think. If you want to get better then going is a big A plus. And if you need to go again, it will be a positive, not a negative decision. I will keep you in my prayers as you strive to get better.