I personally try to be a better person than I am, but admittedly my bipolar is what it is and I know I can't really hide it for very long. Something is bound to happen and I'll be triggered. Last night my wife and I were having a conversation about finances, a trigger for me, and I couldn't be bothered to pay much attention. I literally heard every fifth word she said. Kind of ended the financial discussion right away.

I have other issues, too. Social anxiety especially. I get really uncomfortable in larger groups of people, so that has an effect on relationships in that I tend to keep my wife and I at home more often than not. If there are family events, I opt to stay behind. If I'm left with no choice but to go, I'm usually off in a corner to myself. I'll take a nap if I can to avoid talking to people.

Depending on what kind of state I'm in, I could react one way with people (appear socially astute) and be a chatty Kathy or I could be closed off and difficult to interact with. This has had significant effects on my wife and I's relationship. I feel like she has to cover for me at times. After years of dealing with this, she is starting to say enough and force me to mask how I'm really feeling.

There are days I don't want to get out of bed. It isn't debilitating all of the time - I know when I'm just being lazy - but there are other days when I just can't bothered to be present. My wife cannot truly appreciate it and just tells me suck it up, buttercup. Easier said than done.