I have to admit that I have attempted to "fight crazy with crazy" and I have retaliated...

I regret those actions. I may have first order desires (to react, to retaliate, to make them understand), but I also have second order desires (aka higher-order volitions). My second order desire is to always act with virtue in mind, to always act with equanimity.

I think we're all in a position to listen to our own higher order desires... they never go away.