I don't think this is really what happens. Through therapy I realize some defenses are maladaptive, meaning they don't work for me anymore or they're a problem in some situations. That doesn't mean they're gone, I can still use them if I need to, or I can do something different if that's better. It means having a choice about whether to obey that reflex or not.

I think therapy brings emotions, memories, etc. closer to the surface, but that doesn't mean you have no control whatsoever, at least not necessarily. It depends on the person.

I also don't buy this image of the all-powerful therapist but that's a separate discussion.