Hello fth: I'm sorry I don't really have any tips to offer other than perhaps all of this is something you should be working through with the help of a mental health therapist or psychologist (assuming you're not already doing so) if for no other reason than for the sake of your children. However, under any circumstances, since this appears to have been your first post here on PC... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you're finding the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!