Thank you, Jennifer. I'm working on the part where I feel worth the investment. Even my small dreams & desires seem hard to reach for right now; there always seems to be something more important to do with time & money. I need to work on carving out some of both of those for myself - but honestly it just sounds like a lot of work to me right now.

As is his custom, he couldn't leave the conversation the way it was. He came home from work early and shadowed me all evening without actually talking about it. We have houseguests right now, so we didn't discuss it last night. This morning, he needed to talk about it before he left for work. He dropped the kids off for camp on his way, then turned around and came back home because he couldn't leave it alone. We talked it over for 4 HOURS (during which time I was supposed to be working). We hit some major issues in our relationship, but only because I process over time and all my hurt feelings are interconnected. It takes me time to work out what I'm really feeling about a specific issue/incident, and what is just related because of the emotions involved. He sat through that whole process out loud with me, because he can't do anything else until he feels resolved. It was painful, emotionally and physically. It gave me a headache, made my throat hurt from trying not to cry, and made my eyes hurt from when I did cry. I'm exhausted now. We did cover some good ground, but man does it kill me that it all has to be immediate and on his time table. I am a supreme introvert, and it just feels like I can't ever get any space to work through stuff like this. If he knows I'm upset he can't let me work through it in my own way; it has to be all out on the table and right away.

Now I'm fried for the rest of the day. Had some Advil, using a heating pad for the tension in my neck, and just laying on my bed. Conflict sucks.