Hopelesspoppy, admittedly I don't know your situation, so I'm sorry if my question is ignorant. Can I ask why you never filed complaints? I didn't do so either since I felt incredibly threatened (and had literally been threatened). Moreover I felt not taken seriously by other healthcare professionals - which felt like a huge betrayal after already having lost complete trust in healthcare after what had occured. Some didn't seem to believe what happened, others just had the 'get over it'-mentality (or perhaps they didn't believe it either? I have no clue). In addition I was dealing with heavily altered records, etc etc etc, that would influence my chances to find future care + life frankly.

I was in shock - completely. Up until today I can't sleep at night as I will wake up in agony and deep anxiety after a very brief moment of sleep. So I sleep early morning and if I need it with the lights on. I felt powerless, I felt he had me like a puppet on a string and could pull whatever string he wanted and do anything with my life and future as he wanted (and he had said my life would be over, would this ever come out). Meanwhile he is still the praised doctor.
I feel the memories are like a darkness in myself that I can't enter - or I will start shaking and trembling physically, I will lose it mentally and be 'out of it'. So I just try to leave it be and focus on picking up the pieces of my life (as this in addition brought up massive personal/financial problems as I was incapable of picking up my career thereafter among it).