Writing it down will help you gradually begin to see the type of things that make you angry, there is typically a theme. What I have noticed about you is that you are a nice person, you don't have any desire to hurt others. However, from what I have noticed by what you have shared is what gets you angry is when you put the effort into helping someone or protecting someone, even from themselves and despite that effort the person does something bad. You get shocked and angry but you also begin questioning yourself, "what if I did not do this or why didn't I see this or that to prevent this". You get angry with the other person but also with yourself too. That's hard because it's producing a lot of negative energy that tires you out and you have not been able to take that energy and turn it into something positive. You have always tried to take the energy from angry stress and use that energy. However, since what took place with your father happened, you have not been able to do that.

You still "care" it's in your nature, but, you are now VERY sensitive to anything that happens that resembles being let down. Now when you get angry it hits very deep/to the bone and you don't know what to do with all that negative energy. Plus when someone lets you down, it tends to hit your injured place and triggers you instead of deciding "let go their loss", it becomes YOUR loss.

I have a hard time with this myself. It's important to look at things and be able to embrace "that person is doing this to them self, not me". And sometimes the sad truth is that often as much as we want to we cannot save someone from "themselves".