i have positive things T says, that i have asked him to say when i need them. We have kind of figured out what they need to be together. SImple direct and what i said were "idiotically obvious" things. ANd yeah, oh boy, i feel like an idiot, but they help so much.

i used to have a small little glass thingy, said "i am brave" inside. It gave me hope when i looked at it and i would tell myself i was brave. It helped but i wanted to have that reminder all the time... so i designed a tattoo that would remind me. No one else except T & me know what it means. So now i can look at the tattoo and remind myself to be brave. Maybe it's silly, but i am comforted by it.

i dunno, you dont sound obsessed with T to me... to me you sound like you are very drawn to the positive things she said to you and about you. You talk about your attachment to those words, which, to me, cry out that you have been craving some validation of self-worth. Wanting to feel like a good person is a perfectly normal and wonderful thing. Pursue it. Feeling very attached to someone who gives you unconditional acceptance and meets that need for validation is understandable.

either way, it's helping you... finding ways on your own to validate yourself is a HUGE step. Self care is a big deal. i think your T will be over the moon with happiness and support about this.