Thanks, Luvnola..

Yeah, I need to do a better job of getting the help I need, when I need it. But I get into this headspace where I just can't ask for it. I just feel so guilty and ashamed. That's why we had the talk last month & I told him that when I get that bad, I can't ask for help directly. Which was the point of the talk.
Anyway, he's likely to have forgotten about it by the next time I see him: last time I was seriously suicidal we scheduled an extra session that week and he tried to cancel it because he thought it was a scheduling error. He literally forgot that the last time we talked, I had wanted to kill myself.