Therapy was abruptly ended by my therapist 2 months ago. No closure, discussion, no referral. Just yes you should find a new therapist stated in an email. She refused all contact with me for the last 2 months except she continued to work with my son in a separate school job.

I think the professional abandonment is the most painful, cruel action I have ever experienced. I found two therapists and they have helped me. I had abandonment issues from childhood and addressing them has been great. I landed in a good place despite the cruelty and pain I have experienced.

Today I met with her for the first time in 2 months. I had emailed asking for closure and expressing my anger about her unprofessional abandonment.

The discussion:
When I expressed my anger about an issue related to the duality we had in therapy (she also worked with my son at his school as a sign language teacher, also had mutual friends) she said my anger expressed in an email 2 months ago hurt her. She could not longer be there for me because it hurt. My non expressed response is wtf..you are the professional, I am the client, aren't I suppose to bring to you what is going on so we can deal together? Wasn't she suppose to have professional boundaries so she wasn't reacting personally to anything I said? She said today that she thought I had been ok with the duality...again wtf...all clients who adore their therapist are going to say and believe they are ok with duality but I certainly couldn't handle it...was that my fault? Lastly I was in love with her the whole time and I did tell her. So when she cancelled appointments I was hurt because it doesn't feel good to be in love and see how it's one sided. Again wtf...why didn't she deal with this. Was this my fault as a client that the duality, love and abandonment issues came to a head? Wasn't she suppose to be trained, aware, knowledgeable about these challenges?

I want to be done. I am so sad about the loss. So angry that she took me on, fed me with positive validation and then when things got tough walked away. So angry that she didn't today take responsibility for her inabilities to set boundaries and maintain her professional health. So angry that I trusted her. So angry that I put myself in a position to be treated so poorly when I was there to get some healing and help. Angry at myself that I haven't figured out how to love myself and put myself in harms way by paying a counselor who wasn't very good at her job.

Wish she had claimed responsibility. Glad she showed up for the closure even though it's still a horrible ending.