When you wrote this--it was about 3:30 AM your time--have you slept yet? The inability to sleep can make us depressed and crazy....Seek help for sleep. More sleep could make a world of difference for you.

In hopes of not building tolerance to sleeping meds (most nights I only sleep 5 hours), I switch between three things (diphenhydramine-an otc allergy med that is very cheap, xanax or gabapentin) and purposely take nothing for a few days each month. I never take anything 2 nights in a row but I tend to sleep only 3-5 hours without anything. Have you tried diphenhydramine?

Are you still drinking? Drinking alcohol on a regular basis definitely contributes to depression and keeps us from having quality sleep. Só leigheas---do you have a drinking problem? I know how tough this is to beat. My grandmother was an alcoholic. The combination of being genetically disposed to it and feeling hopeless can make it hard to escape from it. It kills so much potential and motivation. If you are binge drinking everyday (I don't know , just asking) then it will interfere with all the other treatments for your depression and psychosis. Só leigheas--you have been suffering for so long--my attempt caused me to reevaluate my drinking habits--it's easier to lose weight and I get more done without drinking--now I only occasionally dream of the taste of a cold beer or wine spritzer. It was the best thing ever that I did for my mental and physical health........