No escape

I DID try and leave my ex of seven years. The doc was a a%%hole and put "psychosis" on my sick form so everyone at work knew.
I took an overdose of olanzapine as I was dying inside and I didn't know how to escape. I was constantly reminded of all the stupid things I had committed while being ill, either by my ex or just cues in my hometown.
I asked to stay at a relatives house and my brother discovered I had not been taking my pills as the date on the box was old, little detective. My ex came round incessantly even though I asked for some time away. But because I had stopped the meds I was sorta up the creek.
We went to Asda soon after and we were bickering quietly and I was still manic, and I said "I will throw a party when I am allowed to leave you."
He said to me "ill ignore that because that isn't really you that is saying that" like I was J Macavoy from split or newt from Hollyoaks. I know that wasn't right to say but I felt like his puppet.
I phoned my boss, saying I nearly jumped out the car, that's not like me. I gibbered the biggest heap of non-sense to my relative and they just said they were worried about me. I did it to the owner before signed off too. She said I acted like a hard nut all the time. I thought I came across as a shy, awkward, drip