I hate to admit this...but I want to e-mail her and also, I'm starting to think, "See, this is EXACTLY why I don't get attached."
I'd like to tell her that I want it to go back to the way it was before all of this happened- even before I realized I had become attached/developed an emotional tie to her.
I want to apologize if she took my suggestions as stepping on her toes and not trusting her as a professional (I never said that, but maybe she took it that way?).
I want us to apologize to each other and for letting things get animated as far as our conversation
. I want to hear that she was just having a bad day and shouldn't have slammed the door. I want her to know that as I was walking out and I told her I'd mail her remaining payments in, it wasn't to be mean...I just didn't wanna walk out without an appointment and leave things in limbo and also let her know that I do need to pay her (she waits for me to get my insurance claim money and then I pay her). I want to tell her that I understand that she thinks I'm not ready for this (she said it would do more harm than good), but that I feel I am ready and we can meet somewhere in the middle
.
I want us to compromise and move forward. I want her to know that I never wanted yesterday to happen.
I want my therapist back