I want to give up... just fade away into nothingness. I don't mean any kind of "death thoughts"... just... to fade... I probably am not making any sense...
or
just to fall into someones arms, hold onto them, and fall asleep in them forever

I'm losing energy to deal so fast... I made myself get out today to a small social event for about 1-2 hours, and nothing was left... I couldn't even muster the strength to agree to set up a rehearsal for our groups concert tomorrow... it's not tiredness physically... its tiredness emotionally. I just hate this... but as I type... again... I just feel nothing...there is nothing behind my words but a dull pain and longing.

I'm leaning towards going to some kind of meeting with a therapist, if I can schedule it in this week, probably on the campus that's a bus ride away to reduce the chance that I'll run into people. I just don't have the energy to explain it to anyone... I hope I can make that call tomorrow... I don't know if it will help but you are all right it's better than not trying.

And thank you so much for all your posts in this... I know... I've just been on a constant rant...