I had my last day at councelling yesterday, what am i supposed to do now? I still get my depression, not as intense but it's still around. I was only there for like 3 months and they thought i didn't need help anymore. I told my therapist at first i was concerned that i was going to slip back into huge depression about a month ago, but now i'm fine not going back. I asked how do some people go for decades? she said they like to talk, which i don't like to talk and told her how awkward and uncomfortable i feel talking about my feelings and stuff and much of our time even 3 months later is spent sitting in silence.

I still feel depressed but i guess i just need to start excercising more and eating better and it will eventually go away? maybe stop being such a debbie downer. She said if i needed help still to contact the building, but i get a sense of rejection because the first month or so i was going weekly, then bi weekly, then they wanted monthly and it kinda felt like i was wasting my time and i really don't like sitting in a room silently talking about my feelings, makes me feel less of a person whining about stupid things. My thoughts also get pretty deep and pretty obsessive and i can become i guess chaotic? and pretty extreme inside my head with worstt case scenerio stuff so i can feed myself and feel worse and worse.

I also don't wanna go searching for another councellor and tell my story all over again just to be let go after a few months and go searching again only to rince and repeat...i went through i guess the worst i'm ever going to feel in my life? ended up in a hospital in on a you know what watch, and really don't wanna feel that low ever again because it felt beyond anything i've ever experienced in my life times infinity. Right now i'm feeling depressed but maybe that's due to all the caffiene i drink, the foods i eat, lack of excercise more then anything. I feel like i may fall down the same road again towards that depression but i really don't wanna start whining about everything and become a huge whiner because stuff aint going right.

Maybe i should stick to isolation tanks for mind evolution and excercise instead of talk therapy knowing it's always going to end up in a full circle.