Struggling is fighting in a sense. Fighting is important. Keep at it. As for answering the age old question "are you ok" with "yeah I'm ok" when you're not, is something I do because, I've found some people aren't asking out of concern. They do it out of reflex because they don't understand hell. Those of us that do understand, ARE concerned and DO care. I'm guessing trust is an issue for you as well. It is for me. Keep talking to us because it shows you're reaching out. Please continue to do so.