You're right, struggling IS a form of fighting to keep going. I don't know about the OP, but there are times when I just get battle-worn. I need to walk off of the field for awhile and retreat from the war inside me. Sometimes when I just stop warring against myself for a day or two, my mind clears a little and I find a new approach, a new strategy, and a renewed strength. Part of the hell for me is the CONSTANT war that never ceases until I take control and determine, that's enough for awhile. It's a small victory to say, you know what I'M not doing this today! I'M not going to force myself to pretend that everything is alright, to go through all the motions just because it's expected of me by everyone else. I'M taking a sick day, stay in bed if I want (or whatever it is that makes you comfortable). For me it seems to take some of the power away from my illness and not lend my strength to it by carrying on with every day life while suffering though it all like there is nothing wrong. I sometimes wonder if that's why "normal" people don't bother to try to understand. Maybe they think that just because we get up and press on, put on a front for them rather than try and tell them everything that we're really going through, they see it as Oh they're ok. They can handle it they just don't want to...or whatever. I wonder if that may be why people don't get the severity of it, or how much strength and energy it takes for us to do the things they take for granted every day.