Quote:
Originally Posted by charlesm
Hi all,
I know this thread will sound bad. It's kind of pathetic in my opinion. Long story short, I met someone who I thought was quite attractive, and nice. And I was quite sure she was interested in me (running into me alot, smiling, feeling like she was going out of her way to see her).
We chatted a bit over text and FB messenger. We were developing a decent friendship. We never really hung out or anything, but I found myself doing nice things for her, putting an extra effort into making her laugh, etc. I was basically going back to the things I used to do for old relationships.
Through discussions and I can't remember how it came up, but she kind of mentioned she thought I was good looking but not really her type (prefers more "country"). That made me feel quite low on myself - I took it as her only saying I was good looking to be polite - and eventually I got quite sour and freaked her out quite a bit. Asking too many question on why, being needy, clingy, etc.
We are basically not talking now, but I can't get her out of my mind anywhere I go, or whatever I am doing. I know there is 0 chance of a relationship (she considers attraction a big thing) but I can't move on. I've tried thinking of other women, but she keeps coming up. I see her about 3 times a week and the other dya was bad as I thought she looked really good and couldn't help but think why am I not good enough for her.
I realize this is a bit of a self-esteem issue, and a bit of an obsessive issue. But I really don't know if anyone has any tips for forgetting about someone who doesn't like you, will never like you, etc. I feel ugly, no girls ever approach me, etc.
Anyway just looking for any sort of tips.
Thanks!
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First of all, I don't think you sound the least bit pathetic! And second, if she told you she thought you were good looking she probably very well meant it. As a woman myself ( and I have self esteem issues too) I can tell you that there are all kinds of reasons why a woman doesn't connect with a man, some of which in no way reflect badly towards him. Drawing from my own experience there have been times when I felt a man was TOO good looking to be with me, believing that people would wonder what he was doing with someone like me, or I might feel socially out of place with someone due to financial status, or some skills or training higher than my own. Or feeling like she has too much baggage, or some other such issues. My point is there could be any number of reasons that she could have for her preference in men. But that doesn't have to mean that she didn't find you attractive or that there anything wrong on your part. I myself have a couple of male friends who I find highly attractive, really great guys that I just love to death, but we remain best friends and never try to cross that line. As close as we are it would just feel awkward to get with either of them for whatever reason. I don't know what to tell you that might help you get over her, but I hope that you don't let this make you feel bad about yourself. Don't let any woman define you, your worth, or how you see yourself.