The therapist decided months ago that she was no longer going to work with my son. I kept asking her how I would be able to work on the abandonment feelings if she was the person who stopped working with my son and who was also my therapist. She replied that after she stopped working with my son it would be less complicated and she would keep working with me.

What happened is that there two days when she chose to not work at school with son because she was gong to meet the child she would work with next year. I was angry and emailed asking how the IEP was being followed on the days she did not show up at her job and I also stated that she seemed to be checking out of her responsibilities prematurely. Again how was I suppose to work through all this with her.

In response she stopped therapy with an email and continued working with my son at school but also stopped communication.

There is a lot of he said she said in this story. Her story is that she was personally hurt by my emails. Her story is that all was separate. She takes no responsibility for her professional duties. I absolutely think that her inability to be professional, to follow professional recommendations of no minimal duality, not dealing with my love, ending therapy suck. When I asked her two days ago why we didn't stop therapy when she started working with my son she replied it would have been abandonment. I replied no if we had been a discussion, an ending, she could have transferred my care to someone else and if would have been professionally appropriate.

Moving on....what I think I need to ask myself is my part. Why did I think it was ok to give her all the power and stay in the therapy when I knew at some level this would end badly. I was hopeful? Why did I think it was ok to indulge in feeling a love for her when that isn't appropriate? Maybe I thought it would be nice and since I'm not getting it elsewhere, therapy was a safe place? Why do I give so much power to professionals because ultimately they are human. Why not focus on healing and run as far away from therapy as possible? I want to tell the world about how I was harmed and how it hurts but I live in a small town and it all ultimately reflects poorly on me because I should know better than to attach to not very smart therapists.