okay, i know everyones probably getting sick of my posts aobut me but im really struggling so heres whats the latest news then i have a question/reason for posting a new thread.

i was with a girl tonight, we did almost everything and i was so into it, until it got down to that part down there, oral was great when she gave that to me, she looked so beautiful etc, but then we got to that area, the smell and look disgusted me like at the time it was okay or whatever but ive never been disgusted by it before, ill be around friends ive hung out with forever and its like i look and i notice that they are attractive but dont know whether im attracted to them or not. i dont know whether im straight or bi or gay. certian things about males attract me like i sometimes think wow a penis is a much better looking thing than a vagina but i dont think id like doing oral or having intercourse with a man, and for intimicay I PREFER WOMEN 110 percent!!!!! i was in that bad relationship, and its like ill be doing stuff wit ha girl and im TOTALLY into it but that part always weirds me out i find every part of a womans body pretty much more attractive, theyre faces are way prettier, body i dont know whatever, i love breasts, but when it comes to that area suddenly im disgusted. i watch tons of porn so theres an image scramble thing i think. i do have occasional thoughts about men but i cant tell if they are fantasies or thoughts cause i have NEVER masterbated to them but there like really intrusive and while erotic i want them to go away. 20 years without this crap, so what is going on???????? intimacy issues? aversion? bi? gay? straight? Any ideas? if more information is needed check my other posts i am at the verge of severe depression cause of this crap. so someone please let me know!!!!

Pat