I've been having symptoms for 1-2 weeks now, but I haven't totally freaked out because I felt it was under control. People were making a fuss about nothing.

Today I realize I'm no longer in control of how I feel and think. I worry I might hurt myself. The entity is putting thoughts into my head and I've been "rehearsing" suicidal gestures.

At the same time I am not willing to go to hospital. This resolve is slowly breaking down, but still here quite strongly. I worry my language program will kick me out, and I desperately want to avoid that.

I don't know what to do except for keep posting and reaching out to trusted people.