You're still fighting too. Always give yourself credit. It helps build your self image. I don't have much room to talk about self image. However, the key is to keep trying.

You're right about environment being a factor. I've been depressed for 38 out of 43 years. Sometimes I think we just learn to live with it. I take a med that helps some. I don't go to a counselor because of a few reasons.
1. The VA changes doctors like people change hairstyles. I can't keep restarting over and over.
2. I can't afford civilian counseling.
3. Trying to find a counselor that talks with and not at you, is like trying to find a dime in a dump truck load of pennies. It isn't impossible, but it is tedious as hell.