my dad and stepmom got divorced in 05 because he had been cheating on her since 04 with a woman. well him and that woman are still together but my sister holds a grudge like none other! I finally got over mine and went and saw him at thanksgiving. She yelled at me saying that I was making it okay for him to bring her anywhere he wants. I said "i just wanted to see my own father on thanksgiving". it had been 2 years since I had seen him on thanksgiving. And she said "well it's been about 4 for me". its almost like she's making it a contest of who can hold out the longest. And my dad has several health issues and you never known when one of them might take it's toll. Anyways, my sister thinks that me going to thanksgiving made it okay for him to bring her to christmas. I think she wouldnt even want to come to a place where noone likes her and she would just be sitting there but I dont know. My sister is making me feel like a bad person because i wanted to see my dad. I still don't like the woman simply because she makes no effort at all to get to know me. But that doesnt mean Im going to shut her out when her and my dad have been together about 3-4 years now. How am i supposed to talk to my sister about this grudge?

And if you want another example of my sisters grudge holding abilities - she didnt talk to my mom for 2 years. I dont even remember what happened to make her so mad but she didn't talk to my mom for the 2 years that my niece was born and baptized and going to her baptism means a lot to my mom and she purposely didnt invite her. My sister can be very vindictive for a very long time when she is "wronged" and I have no idea what to do about her. Christmas will be in her house so ultimately it's up to her - i just wish she could let go. She threatened me that she wouldn't come to my high school graduation because I lied to her about the guy I was with! I don't get how someone doesn't get exhausted expending that much energy into holding a grudge! I mean, after a while I just gave up because it's too exhausting to hate someone. And cutting her out means cutting my dad out. And I don't get why that's such a problem. We both went through the same things that he did but I got over it because he's my dad. Anyone else dealt with a sibling like this?