I don't like to think in frame of "right and wrong" when it comes to issues demanding good self care. You tried. You did teach the children something that they didn't have before. That's all good, imo!

It isn't anyone's fault that the lady triggers you, you know? I'm sorry she does seem a bit controlling, and anyone with mental health issues would be affected, imo... and many ppl who don't! Change is another thing that can be a big issue.

You need to take care of yourself first. You did what you felt you had to for self preservation. ((((hugs))) Once you are "away" from the scenario for a bit, look at it again and make sure this is what you want (to not work with the children)... if you do want to work with the children in the future, then imo you need to have a sit down chat (or a long series of emails) with the person in charge. You need to explain what throws you for a loop (without giving out personal info) and what you need from her in the way of support so you can do your job. Telling her that you become anxious when she checks on you is something you do need to share.

The world will go on. (((((hugs))))