Yes I am familiar with self psychology and Kohut's work, how I came to the conclusion that what I experience with that T is closest to the twinship concept. But I think there are many ways to achieve that sort of feeling and connection. My other T is big on this as well, and thinks it's important part of his therapy approach, but completely failed to establish it with me. I recognized how he tried at times, but it was very erratic, often self absorbed, not taking into consideration who I am and what I respond to, just trying the same over and over. Also, with him there was no real basis for it, i.e. true similarities in our backgrounds, thinking style etc. I don't think it would ever work for me to achieve that kind of connection without some true elements, purely expecting it from transference and projections. I think that transference is most effective when it is linked to something in the other person directly and then triggers a sort of domino effect of feelings. In other words, I think the combination of T and client has to be right and compatible for a certain effect to occur.

On the question of how long/far it can be beneficial to work on transference mechanisms in therapy - I tend to have the reservations that it can go on forever, there will always be something to look at. As I said above, I tend to refrain from doing it long just for the sake of it, without seeing how my everyday life can benefit from it. And, in my experience, therapists often cannot really give insights as to what the benefits would be, I asked mine many times. Of course one can say it is impossible to know ahead of time, so just go roll with it and see. Now that is the kind of things that I have refused so far, especially when the effects of therapy interfere with my everyday functioning and focus in negative ways, or there isn't anything practical apart from interesting discussions. It is hard for me then to accept that I should continue, and usually that is where I stop for a while.