I feel like everyone has been a loser in one way or another! My favorite poem growing up was:

There was a little girl
BY HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW
There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good,
She was very good indeed,
But when she was bad she was horrid.

I could SO identify with that girl because sometimes I would just lose it and still do. It can take a while to bounce back when you know you have done wrong in some way. The key is self acceptance/forgiveness though I know that is easier said than done. But I was beating up majorly on myself for a couple of years after I made a horrible attempt sending myself to ICU and traumatizing the people who loved me. I had fallen deep into a hole where I wasn't thinking clearly. Somehow, I don't beat up on myself much anymore. It could happen to you too. You are young and have so much potential. Check out the audiobook I posted (I have almost listened to the whole thing https://forums.psychcentral.com/step...lf-esteem.html). Maybe it could help you. <<hugs>>