This is a topic near and dear to alot of us, and due to the emotions (and lots of other things) involved, it's one many of us can feel very passionately about. It shows in this thread.

If we feel highly emotional about a response, it's usually best to type our response then get up and walk around for 10 minutes or so and come back and read it.

In response to campy's OP, and as a co-admin...

Campy said;

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I hate the rules here about only being supportive. I see things posted here that make my heart twinge - but I can't say, "whoaaaaaa!!!!". I can't say anything helpful when I see things posted that sound dangerous.

Please....just think with the rational part of your brains once in a while????

Ugh. Campy

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Sure you can say, "Whoaaaa! My experience has me concerned about this issue"

Posting our concerns *is* supportive. Posting our concerns *is* helpful in intent. Being supportive does not necessarily mean being in *complete agreement*. It's all in how we say it. Then it's on the recipient to accept a varied response to a public post.

If we knew someone was involving themselves in dangerous behavior, are we going to post only agreement? Of course not. Being supportive doesn't not mean 100% agreement.

Care and support comes in many forms. We're more concerned with posting that's clearly unsupportive, or attacking. If one feels they can't respond to a post without attacking or being clearly unsupportive, then it's usually best to move to a post that we can positively contribute to.

When we post publicly, we're opening ourselves up to all types of response...those totally agreeing, those sharing their own similar experiences, those in total disagreement...all supportive if stated appropriately. We need to be able to accept all the various forms of support within the guidelines...even those in strong disagreement.

That gets into what is supportive...

I think it's all in how it's stated. If we firmly disagree with someone that we think are being foolish, for example, we don't want to say, "YOU FOOL!" That's unsupportive. However, to say, "I firmly disagree with you and am concerned about this behavior and this is why..." is clearly supportive in intent.

Again, supportive posts don't mean to say posts in agreement. Posting publicly, we're basically saying that we're accepting thoughts and care in all their forms (excepting that which is so critical it's attacking or is a pure attack).

I hope that helps.

For the most part, I think we're very gracious in our responses here for the most part, and I also think the posters are very gracious in accepting responses containing disagreement.

This is a *very* special forum and so many care. I appreciate you all so much. Posting almost always helps someone, somewhere, in some way...even if it's just that they don't feel alone in their experiences. That's a gift!

KD