WOW! 150k?....THATS CRAZY, what to do at this point? I see your situation as one in which you lack real purpouse in your life. Of course I don't know you,but I think I understand where you're at (bear with me) to this point you have yet to be properly challenged, you seem to care very little about yourself or what will become of you and thats just a form of deviant behavior that you'll eventualy grow out of (hopefully), how? by becoming involved with helping other people who were'nt given all of the gifts that you have "squandered" (not just the money) you'll see this pretty quick and the realization will shock you into making wholesale changes in your life to never be the person you have allowed yourself to be. you want to grow? understand and learn? than these are the kindest things I can say to you in order to faccilitate that. The world needs people with exactly what you have to give, so get over yourself and get out there doing what you were born to do! you may fall,you will make mistakes, its okay...I'm all about failing at something great instead of succeeding at nothing. you're life up to this point has been a preparation for where you are headed, use all of the things you've learned and will learn like precious tools. empathy tells us, "I used to have that problem,heres what I did" whereas, sympathy just says " gee,sorry about your bad luck, aint it a bad thing?" choose your perspective. undoubtibly,what i'm saying here will be misunderstood and seen as mean spirited or something judgemental, and thats they're perspective...all I know is that I was never helped by people who tried to help me by enabling me.