I always seem to keep myself busy and hobbies make me happy. Lately I noticed how not many people seem to talk to me and I've moved quite a few times in my life. It's sad when your in you're 30s, living with parents still due to your disorder and don't have much of a social life. I even feel like an alien whenever I go into chat rooms.

I don't push anyone away either, people end up not speaking to me due to distance, meeting new friends or cause there too busy with their own life. So I end up feeling sad and heartbroken.

I'm so desperate for friends... yet I'm so shy and afraid nobody will like me due to low self esteem from abuse: as a child and in a romantic relationship. Sometimes I fear I won't make any new friends. My outlet now pretty much is forums and hoping I meet new people.