Blanche, thanks. I totally get you. It's been 3 years for me. It can be torturous at times. I do feel as though I'm moving ever so slowly in the right direction though - having said that, sometimes it's 2 steps forward, 5 steps back! From the literature I've read, it very much depends on how the T deals with it, they need to be confident enough to dip their toes in the water and I think some are very avoidant. Successful working through requires both the therapist and patient to engage with the transference I think.