True. I guess exactly as written it was too strict of me to say that. I think what I meant is that when you're consistently questioning their behavior then probably something is up. The personal worries and projections and doubts and stuff... it's just that a therapist shouldn't be giving you much to latch those worries onto. It's one thing if you're questioning your T in the same way you always question people around you... it's another thing if your T's behavior is coming off as odd/unusual and unexpected and you're asking yourself what the intentions behind it could possibly be.

It's like you said about trusting our gut. A lot of times we suppress our intuition in situations where it actually is saying something really important. You shouldn't have to end up doing this back-and-forth inside of wondering like, "was that really OK? was that not OK? But I think they feel such and such. But then they did something that makes me think different. But then it can't be that they really mean harm. But then this behavior was weird. But then but then...." etc.

That kind of inner conversation, I don't think it's normal to experience that if your T is really truly behaving consistently, ethically and professionally and is keeping their own emotional needs separate from the therapy. It's especially a bad sign if you make attempts to talk about it and feel like it is dismissed or brushed aside or avoided.