But Almeda, that is wonderful news! Two years ago you wouldn't have made that connection between the idiot on the cell phone and the picture taking debacle. You can't change behavior that you don't "see"/understand. Next time you'll catch yourself a little sooner in your rage against the idiot phone woman, only giving her a good, "Can't walk and talk at the same time I see? I suggest you pay better attention in the future so no one charges you for assault; if my son were in a car, I'd have you in jail!" and then you walk on, finished with her.

Maybe you can help yourself by making "rules" for your anger. Like, you can only say true/real things to the other person (notice I didn't say "positive" you do not have to be "positive" when you're angry). Can't call someone an "idiot" because they won't be. So most names are out. It will pretty much limit you to "I" statements. "I wish. . ." or requests, "Would you please. . ." Slowing down your mouth :-) until your brain can figure out what to say according to the rules will keep your thinking engaged and it won't slip as often into rage. It will fix the "flywheel" :-) But linking your anger with anything, an item you wear/carry, etc. so you see and think of it will slow you down a bit and give you some extra space for the breathing and thinking. Wear a particular piece of clothing when you go out in public and call it your "anger shirt" or something.

Anger, even strong anger is not "wrong" just how it is expressed. Trying to suppress anger in the photo shoot or not looking at your disappointment that it wasn't going the way you wanted it to and mourning for that is the sort of thing that gets me in trouble.

My parents made a "sign" (my mother crossed her two index fingers into an "X" in front of one eye :-) so my father would know when he was telling a joke one time too many (he couldn't remember who he'd told and would tell the same "new" joke he liked over and over). You could do that with your husband and son so they could help you realize when you were starting to go overboard and slow you down?

It sounds like you're doing great though; a couple years ago you wouldn't have had a clue, would have just been thoroughly frustrated and not seen any connections?