I decided to ask for help just a couple of weeks ago and that’s the first time I have really faced the fact I may suffer from depression. This has caused the dam in my mind to burst and the thought that I felt like this my whole life.

… Well not since I was a baby, don’t get me wrong but since I was 15. Before that age it was all games and fun, after that my life have been wrapped up in dark thoughts. This led me to think that maybe I have a better self waiting to be discovered. Maybe the self I am today is in some way “fake” because is changed by my dark thoughts. Maybe when I will receive the help that I need I will discover that I am not the person who always ruins everything, the person in the group who is always sad, the person who can’t get up every morning. Maybe I’m better than this, maybe I will discover to be another person and someone will truly love me.
I can’t wait to be that person.