I made some school boy errors and was heading towards dismissal. I had cut down my meds and I had what's called the "self sabotage syndrome" because nothing good ever happened to me so if someone didn't ruin it I did it myself unconscious and unaware I was.
In hindsight if I hadn't had such a string of failures behind me I would have not accepted the job after my two weeks trial after seeing what I would be up against.
The company found out in no time I had been unwell, so I was ear marked. I was used to flak, underhand remarks and peoples games by then so I played along. It was never going to end well.

Then by some twist of fate I woke up one day. Like when the apple fell on Newton's head. I sent shockwaves through the health system and finally I had people on MY side, at last. I could not do this alone. I was done telling white lies, and living a lie, lying to myself...

I had my second major relapse. Lost my mind in order to regain my soul. this time was different I was not cast adrift on my own and I swallowed my pride and jumped through the hoops. I had brought too much attention on myself and people started to emerge from the woodwork. Can't run when the wells run dry