T,

We really are going to have to go through this again, aren't we. The fear, the struggle, the fight, the denial, the admission of need, the satisfaction of those needs, the desires, the realisation and the hurt and the heartbreak.

We already did it and it has been a year and a half of hard hard work and now we have to do it all over again? I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I have got the energy to do it all over again.

I don't know if it is going to be harder or easier. I think this part might put up more resistance, be more wary, more overwhelming, distrusting.

I felt physically scared of you today while we were at the desk. I could feel my body flinching away from you. I don't want to be scared of you. I am not scared of you, but that part obviously didn't want to be there.

I think that this is really going to take its toll on me. You say don't be alone, I can email, but this part of me doesn't want to email you. Doesn't want anything from you.