Sorry to hear that you are struggling Boogie.

Unfortunately with motivation it often doesn't show up until after taking action. Depression makes it harder to start even small tasks, but if you push yourself to even just start something, motivation may take hold and give you momentum to continue. I know that's how it is for me with exercise sometimes. Even 2 minutes of doing something positive is better than nothing. Can you set small, reachable goals for yourself? Would writing them on paper help?