I didn't know where to post this as it doesn't seem to fit anywhere in particular but is to do with therapy and I happen to value everyones opinion in this forum so here goes.

I have had major problems through out my life but for the last couple of years things are starting to come good. Bad time of year for me at the moment but we will get through that.

I started therapy over 6 years ago and when I started I was in a pretty bad state. I will also tell you that I am a multiple but am fairly ok with the way that I am.

Anyway I worked with people with mental health problems a few years ago, had a break and have been doing therapeutic work with children for nearly three years now. I have a few contracts and just recently have been filling in for other people when they have been off sick. I love my work. I am also a proud member of the British Psychological Society.

The thing is I have a big drive within me to plough on and get as far as I can with this. Helping children to progress is such a joy. But there is also a part of me that is holding back in a big way because this is all new and my self-esteem is pretty crap. (I'm gonna fail!)

Trying to get to the point- a position is about to come up at work which I have been filling in for. I can do the job well but I have a huge fear of interviews and the thought of going through all that makes me feel sick. Other people are likely to go for it to which can make for an uncomfortable atmosphere. But if I don't go for it I may not progress. But then am scared of progress also so it's a double edged sword.

Also this job might mean having to move my T session, I really need T as he helps me with everything in my life including my work. I think I may be able to insist on keeping my T slot, or swap a day with someone else so I can carry that on. Definately need to T!

The other thing is that I recently had a performance meeting where I stated my interests in psychology and what I wanted to improve for the children, the ideas I had and the training I thought I needed and it was all accepted by my boss. Which was a real shock for me. I may even be able to do a doctorate and not have to pay for it. Am I lucky or what!

So this is all good stuff right? But I still feel like that little girl that was told she was useless and no good and now I'm being told I'm ok actually! It's strange and odd and doesn't feel real.

So what do I do about this job coming up? Do I go for it? Or do I leave it and wait till I'm ready?