I just registered on this site. Im reading through the posts and it sounds like most people struggle with the depressive phase. What I struggle with is the manic phase. I become over confident, I turn into a very mean person, and I destroy all of my relationships. I become paranoid and suspicious and I fail to empathize with the way that my friends are really feeling. I bully people because when I receive some kind of an emotional reaction, thats the only validation I have that they care about me. It isn't until I have hurt somebody and made them cry, that I know that they actually cared for me and trusted me. When I date somebody, it is impossible for me to go into an exclusive relationship. I can never trust somebody enough and am always suspicious that they would lie and say they have been exclusive while reality (at least, my imaginary reality), they have been sleeping with the entire city (and my imagination runs completely wild.... in my defense, as a gay man, i don't think its completely irrational). And in the meantime, when I am in a relationship, I do exactly that - because I figure that is what he is doing. I feel like I'm such an evil person. And some people have told me that I actually am an evil person. I know that the things I do and the emotions that I have don't make sense.... Does anybody else on here struggle with this?