I am all too much aware of the pain you are going through. For me it was constant and it only continued to worsen, until I was put on Lamictal. Soon after I got to the 300 mg level all my suicidal thoughts ended. Don't get me wrong I still think of death constantly but not about ending my life directly.
Lamictal saved my life and I really don't understand why it is not the first line of defense in a pdocs arsenal.

I wish you all the best and hope your pain goes away on it's own soon.