Thank you everyone. I'm just so damned tired. I gave up my childhood to raise my brothers and protect them from my fa----, because my mother worked a lot. I gave up my 20's to serve and protect our home. And the rest has been used to help others. It would've been nice if someone had done this for me, but that's not the case. I'm sure others have led much of the same life. Constantly draining yourself to do for others and never being recharged, wears you out. I am certain we people with difficulties are far stronger than the so called "normal" people. Honestly, I'm tired of being strong for others and no "tangible" person doing the same for me. I appreciate everyone on this site. It would be a dream to have a caring person.