I'm struggling with do I reach out to her, do I apologize, did I do anything wrong? Is she waiting for me to reach out or am I on her mind at all (I mean, I'm a client, not in her personal life).

But all of the above, I do WAY too much when things are over. I go back to these kinda women, apologize and lay all of my feelings on the line. It only tortures me more. She's a professional and in the last few weeks, I think I relayed what she meant to me. I read her a very long letter that she admitted had her tearing up and I was always grateful to her for her kindness and generosity, as she waited to get paid when my insurance reimbursed me.